Allie does not like ChatRoulette. I can understand this because we saw a penis in every chat window we opened, whether it was held by tight fitting underwear or just plain right out there.
Are boys really this pathetic?
Answer me this, men: What IN THE HELL KIND OF GIRL do you think wants a big old penis with no face on her computer screen? Obviously no kind of girl one would want to form any sort of relationship with. How about you go outside, to a cafe, and meet a real girl, not naked on your bed with your cock in my interwebs? I wanted to go on chatroulette because I wanted to meet a real person before I went to dinner and all I got was COCK. Dammit. I told Ally it wouldn't be all penises and the first chat window we come to is a giant ass DICK.
So way to ruin my sliver of faith in chatroulette. It's like AIM chatrooms when we were thirteen and you only went in one to figure out what cunnilingus meant. Why the hell do people ruin things for me? If I could reinvent the world, I would make it so that if I yelled at someone for something EVERYONE who did that thing would stop. Now I'm just angry. Now I just want to sign back on chatroulette and tell them all they're tiny and that I prefer black men.
Or Jews. Or people who aren't them.
Allie asks what I'd do if a black man or a Jew came up on chatroulette and I say it's simple. Tell them I prefer the other. Oh, you're black? I only online strip for Jews. Sorry. Come again later. Except not.
I feel like putting yourself out there like that takes a lot of confidence. It takes balls (well, balls and a dick) to be an internet exhibitionist. So maybe I'm jealous that I'm not so free with my body as to plaster it all over the internet so guys can beat off to it.
But what I really want to know is...there is obviously one girl to every 400 guys on chatroulette. isn't it awkward and kind of gay for them to be looking at each others' dicks all the time? Do you just like, "next" another bro or do you stop touching yourself to ask what's up? I mean, that would be courteous. And if you do, why am I not afforded the same courtesy? Ask me what's up? Take your hand off your penis and ask me. Then I might even consider having a brief and polite conversation with your naked ass.
Allie is bored. I can tell. So I think I'll talk to her now I guess. But seriously. Chatroulette. What the what.
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